Courtney Cox is 50, her fiancé is 38; Tina Turner is 75, her boyfriend is 59; Katy Price is 36, her boyfriend is 28; Mariah Carey is 45 and her boyfriend is 34…
Still single? Relax, your boyfriend might not have been born yet.
Today these older women have been labelled as ‘cougars’- in relation to the mountain lion. As though they are wild animals with no self-control… like men. But this is not true; today women like Madonna and Courtney Cox have actually developed long and loving relationships with their younger partners.
Madonna’s most former ex, Timor Steffens, was 30 years younger than her at the time. However, when interviewed by the Daily Mirror newspaper Mr Steffens revealed that the age gap did not affect them; “There is an age gap between me and Madonna but I don’t notice it. My girlfriends have always been older than me and that’s how I like it. I learn a lot.”
Although I am certain Mr Steffen’s is aware that learning isn’t the only plus side of dating an older women. Chances are she is not new to the dating scene and will wow you with her knowledge, experience and confidence. Maybe this is why cougar relationships are becoming so regular today.
Courtney Cox, Mariah Carey and Tina Turner have even married their younger men. So unless mountain lions are known to settle down in loving monogamous relationships, I don’t think the name ‘cougar’ sufficiently applies to these women.
Plus if women from any age have the confidence to get out there and embrace their sexuality then why shouldn’t they? It has been argued that it is even empowering for females to see that age does not stop you from being beautiful and appreciated.
But the question is, does the dramatic age difference always end in disaster? Unfortunately many of the couples we have seen did end in tears. For instance, Madonna has had three failed relationships with men at least 20 years younger than her. This is including Jesus Luz, Brahim Zaibit and Timor Steffens.
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have to be the most talked about cougar relationship known yet. At the age of 51 Demi married the 35 year old star Ashton Kutcher in 2005. Ashton even converted to Kabbalah, the form of Judaism that Demi practiced (how romantic). Nonetheless eight years later it also ended in divorce.
“I will forever cherish the time I spent with Demi,” Kutcher posted on Twitter at the time. “Marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world, and unfortunately sometimes they fail.”
It can be seen as very telling that Kutcher moved onto someone his own age after the divorce. In 2012 he married Mila Kunis, and at the age of 31 she is only six years younger than Kutcher.
So what makes cougar relationships so unsuccessful? Askmen.com have said it is the baggage of an older women: ex-husbands, children, business pressures and debts. Also the judgement men receive from people such as, their bosses and family for dating much older women. This was definitely the case for Harry Styles, who was getting loads of bad press for dating elder woman such as Caroline Flack and Erin Foster. He was even given the name ‘cougar catcher’ by Hollywood Life in 2014.
Although I’m sure Harry has upped his sales with hopeful housewives, since his interest in older women has been revealed. In fact when interviewed by Mary Fischer, Harry admitted that he’s seen daughters burry their heads into their hands in humiliation, whilst the mothers try flirt with him at concerts.
But what about MOUGARS! Yes that’s right male cougars are out there. In fact, this February Stephen Fry (aged 57) got married to the 27 year old Elliot Spencer. ‘We’re very much in the Honeymoon stage still. I’m dizzy with delirium and ditzy with dippiness,” Mr Fry told Radio 2 this February. “It’s really thrilling; in Chaucerian English I’m bathing in a bath of bliss, it’s just great.”
At 45 years old, Jay Z is 12 years older than his beautiful wife Beyoncé. David Hasselhoff is 27 years older than his girlfriend Hayley Roberts- she is almost half his age. But people barely blink an eye at these relationships. It is definitely a one way street of judgement when it comes to ‘cougaring’. Women are just viewed as doing something wrong.
Even on our TV today we see cougars presented as wild uncontrollable predators. Take ‘Cougar Town’ for example, the series that Courtney Cox stars in. She plays an older mother with a teenage son, and is shown to ruthlessly search for younger men as sexual conquests. At one point she even eyes up a young man with the words “I’d love to lick his body”.
However it seems men’s interest in elder women officially began after Finch landed Stiffler’s mum, Jeanine, on top of a pool table in the film ‘American Pie’. Finch was congratulated afterwards, as though it was an achievement of some sort. In addition, the phrase MILF (standing for ‘mother I’d like to… umm make love to), also became well known after its frequent use in ‘American Pie’. Therefore, it could be argued that this film is what kicked started men’s obsession with mothers and elder women.
Now there are dating sites specifically aimed towards ‘cougars’. After researching I can even provide you with a top 5 of these things! First we have OlderWomenDating.com- yes I’m serious. Followed by AgeMatch.com, KissCougar.com, CougarLife.com and finally Cougared.com. On most of these sites you will find that the men are named ‘cubs’, which I’m sure implies sweet, innocent and vulnerable…?
Over all I think it is very clear that there are two types of cougars today. We have seen those who have actually fallen into a committed loving relationships. So I don’t see why they should be judged in anyway. Then the others are just after one night flings, and don’t see why they should settle for the old if they can get the new. Fair enough right?
