Self-confidence is something that comes and goes unfortunately. A fact of life… like good days and bad days. Life/Death. Black/White. Ying/Yang. If you know this is the pattern that life throws at you then you can overcome bad self-confidence and limit your low days.
There will be days when you feel on top of the world then time passes and you suddenly feel terrible and in need of self-esteem. But where is it? Unfortunately, we don’t have our own personal cheerleaders reminding us how amazing we are daily (that would be so helpful though); therefore, it is down to you to put the pep back in your step.
Or if you can’t – at least fake it till you make it?
A tip considered by psychiatrists is to act confident even if you feel low (as hard as it may be) the ensuing result is you are giving off positive vibes and attract positivity from others. If you are feeling on a medium to low energy day ths will boost your positivity as you will be giving off positive vibes. Like attracts like.
Self-esteem and self-confidence are so closely linked. The way you feel about yourself will determine how you see the world and what you do with it. Low self-esteem often begins in childhood, as family, teachers, friends and the media begin to send you positive and negative messages. However, for some reason, our brains tend to only focus on the negatives.
Remember this is how are brains are trained and it will boost you!
Genetics also plays a part in self-esteem, as some people are more prone to thinking negatively or putting too much pressure on themselves whereas you can roll the genetic dice and be happy on a day to day basis.
Luckily, there are 5 proven methods and techniques that can help you build your confidence.
- IDENTIFY WHAT YOU’RE GOOD AT
Everyone in the world is good at something, whether it’s dancing, cooking or quoting obscure movie references. No matter how weird you think it might be (btw, it’s not as weird as you think), it’s something you’re good at, which makes it the coolest thing possible.
Pretty much all of us are naturally inclined to enjoy doing the things we’re good at, which instinctively helps boost our mood. Make a list of at least five of your talents, and make sure to put it somewhere you can see regularly. That way, you can take a look when you’re having an off day. Remember not to feel ashamed of the things you’re good at; as long as they’re safe, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
- STOP COMPARING YOURSELF
Do you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to the people you see on Instagram? The answer to that question is most likely yes.
The social comparison theory points out that it’s only natural to compare yourself to others, so when you’re next scrolling through the ‘Gram and comparing yourself to your friend who has the ‘perfect’ life, don’t fret, it’s completely normal. Studies show a direct link between envy and self-confidence; therefore, the more envy you have, the worse you will feel about yourself. The good thing is once you realise you are comparing yourself to others, it makes it a lot easier to stop. Remember, life isn’t a competition. It’s not about being better than anyone else; it’s about being better than the person you used to be. Don’t put yourself under any pressure; you’re doing absolutely fine.
- FOCUS ON YOUR SUCCESSES
We as humans have a natural negativity bias, which means we are more inclined to focus on our failures and setbacks instead of our successes. Self-confidence is most commonly reduced when you make a mistake, and with the negativity bias, no matter how many great things you do afterwards, you’re still likely to focus on that one mistake.
Similar to identifying what you’re good at, there is a simple way to boost your confidence by focusing on your successes. At the end of your day, write down or think about three successful things you did. They can be as big as getting a promotion at work or as small as putting on a dishwasher load on a 1am cycle to save £75% off your electric bill each month. You may have a day where you feel like everything has gone wrong, but even on your worst days, there is still something good to celebrate.
Sometimes the small wins are the best, so don’t forget to savour the small accomplishments that make you who you are.
- MAKE THE MOST OF IT
Some people think that if you change your outside appearance, your inside mentality follows but in fact, it’s the other way round. Once you work on yourself from the inside, your outsides catch up and shows your new outlook on life. Therefore, this step is likely to come naturally for those who have put the time and effort into boosting their self-confidence from the inside. For those wanting to gain more confidence in their appearance, a great thing to do is focus on something you love about yourself and build on it.
Whether you love your legs, nails, or eyebrows, we all have attributes that we love to flaunt! Start by taking care of the one thing you appreciate about your physique and then gradually expand. Your whole mood can be turned around by pampering yourself physically and mentally, but at the end of the day, nothing makes a person look more beautiful than being happy.
- BE HONEST
There are two steps to this self-confidence exercise.
First, don’t feel ashamed of yourself. Everyone has flaws, and there’s no point wasting your energy trying to hide parts of yourself from the people in your life. Those who truly care about you will love all sides of your personality and accept you, imperfections and all. The second step is being fearlessly honest with yourself. Don’t take this to mean standing in front of a mirror and spouting out all the things you think are wrong with you. Being fearlessly honest is all about speaking truthfully about what you may need to improve on and what you’re amazing at.
Everyone deserves honesty, especially from themselves.
‘A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.’ – Zen Shin.
WORDS BY: PIA LOUISA
