{"id":5753,"date":"2017-05-29T11:34:01","date_gmt":"2017-05-29T09:34:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rocksmag.com\/london\/?p=5753"},"modified":"2017-06-01T00:06:37","modified_gmt":"2017-05-31T22:06:37","slug":"modern-dating-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rocksmag.com\/london\/modern-dating-game\/","title":{"rendered":"THE MODERN DATING GAME"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"RocksWords by: Athina Eleftheriou<\/strong><\/p>\n

When I was younger, I had always dreamed about dating a boy in a 50\u2019s America, Pleasantville type situation.<\/h2>\n

He\u2019d pick me up, we\u2019d go see a movie and afterwards we\u2019d go to the local diner and share a milkshake with two straws. He\u2019d drop me off at home, walk me to my door, kiss me, and then we\u2019d be going \u2018steady\u2019 – whatever that means.<\/p>\n

We millennials have now created a culture where our lives revolve around being online. Even dating.\u00a0 We think that, \u2018Netflix and Chill\u2019 is an acceptable first date when we know that there is going to be no Netflix or no Chill happening. We have lost interest in intimacy and would rather settle for a one-night stand where the guy comes and goes (quite literally) and then we don\u2019t hear from him again until our phone lights up at 3am two months later with a text from him saying \u2018hey, wyd?\u2019<\/p>\n

The problem we face with everything being online is that we don\u2019t actually know how to meet people anymore. You can\u2019t meet a guy in a bar anymore without him expecting an invite back to your house because he\u2019s bought you a vodka and lemonade.
\nSo we sign up to Tinder, Match.com or Plenty of Fish telling ourselves we\u2019re doing it in a tongue and cheek kind of way. We choose our 5 best pictures, spend a good 10 minutes wondering what to put in our bio before just settling on our occupation and then begin to swipe.<\/p>\n

After matching with a couple of guys getting the usual, \u2018hey, you ok?\u2019 you get one with an interesting opening line. You exchange a number of pleasant messages back and forth, share a bit of banter and you start to think, \u2018Oh this guy\u2019s alright.\u2019 Then you get the message that ruins it all \u2013 \u201csend nudes?\u201d Unmatch.
\nI suppose it\u2019s better than an uninvited d**k pic.<\/p>\n

In a survey I conducted based around online dating experiences, when asked, \u201cWhat were your reasons in signing up?\u201d one respondent answered, \u201cI wanted to get balls deep in some vag.\u201d Stay classy. Fifty percent of people signed up out of boredom, whilst 37% did it because their friends encouraged them, with an additional 37% admitting to using it to find a boyfriend\/girlfriend.<\/p>\n

There might be an occasion when the conversation goes so well that you get a date that does not take place in his bedroom. In comes the Catfish fear. What if he looks nothing like his pictures? What if it\u2019s awkward or we having nothing to talk about?<\/p>\n

Your friends will inevitably force you to go; you meet up at a bar because who actually goes for romantic dinners anymore? The date goes surprisingly well, you exchange flirty banter (aka flanter) over a couple of glasses of wine and you might end the night with a drunken kiss. You go home, tell your friends, send him a text saying you had a great time, he replies saying me too and that you should do it again soon.<\/p>\n

But he doesn\u2019t text again. You can\u2019t text him because you texted him first last time and you will just seem desperate. Then you log onto Tinder and see that he was last active 15 minutes ago. So it leaves you thinking, \u2018What did I do wrong?\u2019<\/p>\n

We live in a generation where people are scared to talk about their feelings. We would rather be strung along than tell him we like him or ask the dreaded question, \u2018What are we?\u2019<\/p>\n

Maybe you have decided you\u2019re, \u2018seeing each other.\u2019 But let me tell you something, that isn\u2019t a real thing!<\/p>\n

It\u2019s an excuse. It\u2019s a fear of commitment. If both of you are exclusive then just cut the BS and admit you\u2019re in a relationship. It\u2019s a relationship, not a marriage. What even is \u2018seeing each other\u2019 anyway?<\/p>\n

I have been single for 20 of my 22 years on this planet and so it is safe to say, I have the modern dating thing down to a tee. It\u2019s hard. It\u2019s hard trying to find someone who is committed to you in a world of people just wanting a night with you.<\/p>\n

Maybe it\u2019s just me? Maybe it\u2019s because I\u2019m a traditionalist and a hopeless romantic that dreams of the fairytale ending. It just so happens that I got my happy ending on Tinder. Three failed years and I became an official Tinderella. But I have most definitely had my fair share of terrible Tinder experiences and dates – from somebody spiking my drink, to someone not getting the hint I don\u2019t like them and enough unwanted d**k pics to last two life times.<\/p>\n

I am not saying The Modern Dating Game is an entirely bad thing, in fact 30% of the people surveyed were in a relationship with somebody they met through online dating. It\u2019s just sad that we only seem to meet people when we\u2019re either drunk, on a dating app or sometimes both at the same time.<\/p>\n

Where is the human connection? People are too scared of intimacy and commitment because they would rather go on a night out and hook up with a bunch of people than tell somebody how they feel.<\/p>\n

We need to change, we need to stop being scared to text first, we need to stop letting people string us along, we need to tell each other how we feel. But most importantly, we need to stop Netflix and Chilling.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Words by: Athina Eleftheriou When I was younger, I had always dreamed about dating a boy in a 50\u2019s America, Pleasantville type situation. He\u2019d pick me up, we\u2019d go see a movie and afterwards we\u2019d go to the local diner and share a milkshake with two straws. He\u2019d drop me off at home, walk me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5810,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,50,211,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5753","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-features","category-for-her","category-for-her-2","category-lifestyle"],"yoast_head":"\nTHE MODERN DATING GAME - London Rocks<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/rocksmag.com\/london\/modern-dating-game\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"THE MODERN DATING GAME - London Rocks\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Words by: Athina Eleftheriou When I was younger, I had always dreamed about dating a boy in a 50\u2019s America, Pleasantville type situation. 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